Who I am? (to be continued and just plain randomness)

Liquid golden dynamite, so cooler and lighter than the lightest flyest pillow. I walk around with this constant mask because I learned its better to be stoic than show your actual poker face. Seem to be evolving lately, and I used to think that wasn’t humanly possible. A bit antisocial but can be social when placed in settings of people more antisocial and negative than me (and that’s a lot). Lover of all things, and a certified nerd I like to think but not such that I am not cognizant of other issues and topics. I like to do my own thing at my own pace at my rate. I get antsy when I have to twiddle my fingers longer than 15 minutes during the day. I get agitated easier of people very disorganized and spread too thin. Some people can be great multi-taskers but its not meant for everyone, and when I am stuck with that person, I am totally annoyed from point on forward. By the way, I love to multi-task and I am damn good at it when I am focused to do so. Well that’s all for now, I will add more of the evolution of me as I go.

Music keeps me sane in the membrane

OH yes it does let me tell you. Being able to sing along and hum to my favorite kind of music (which happens to be a lot of different kinds of music) keeps me from (and I quote 90% of the time) throwing my computer out of the window or setting it on fire and adding chlorox to it-whether I am in the research lab, at the job, at the crib, or anywhere I am required to be around a computer to get work done (which feels like damn near all the time). So since I started working last week, my mini music collection (no where near the one I used to have) kept the time from stopping. But I do plan on starting to spend more time out on the floor though just to learn stuff and exercise ( but I save that for another day). Today was Marvin Gaye that kept me from screaming out physically when my documents I had been working on kept consistently crashing on me. Oh yes, no musician can be in a good mood in an instant (more instant than making ramen noodles) than Marvin can. 22 hours of the day could have been craptacular raised to the infinity power, but I put his music on, and its like the pain from the booboo on my knee melts away. And even when its not Marvin or anyone on my windows playlist or car CD list, I get a kick of listening to Pandora or any type of online music stations that lets you pick the music you like. 98% of the time I avoid commercial radio unless I am listening to NPR or ESPN sports or something. Commercial radio, just like the music industry of today, is full of this cacophony that I promise is causing the liquid in my ear to harden and shatter into a thousand pieces. Just plain terrible. I feel so sorry for the generation after me (i.e. read 90s and millennium kiddies) that think these current crop of “artists” are the best musicians in the business today and (gasps even ever). The tragedy. If there is one entity that needs to have acceleration to their ultimate demise, the music industry is ranked up there (up there with journalists of today, all politicians, and certain financial companies). I ked ked ked, naw not really, not at all…hehe…well my lunch hour is coming to a close, just as my blogging ways that I have been doing should too, and if I happen to be stuck at the computer for the afternoon for some reason, I think I will kick things off with the Temptations. Not bad eh? It would be Tears for Fears, but only if I can figure out to get access to Pandora while I am here.

Always traveling/being transient

I used to think that there must be some good that would come out of all the bad that happened my freshman year of college. One of those “good” I had contemplated about was this sense that since I was officially on my own with only so much to go by, that I would be ok with the notion that I would have to travel frequently and move around frequently. I figured I couldn’t really go back to my grandma’s house anymore, it was falling apart and it was where my uncle had died, so I didn’t want to deal with that. After I had to move out of my freshman dorm, I moved into this garage apartment like 5 minutes from campus. It was great at first with the roommate I had even though the place wasn’t really meant for 2 people. I don’t know what happened along the way but that roommate situation just kinda dissolved/down hill and I actually had a lot of pent up passive aggression that I displayed instead of letting my roommate feel my complete wrath. So I had to get up out of that fast. Next I moved all the way to the Westside of town, like 30 minutes from school give or take to this apartment that was relatively in my budget and figured that since it was such a great steal. Well as the saying goes, things were too good to be true which ultimately led to my car being placed on concrete blocks as someone(s) took all 4 tires and my rims from my car. At the time, I had the same old factory rim and factory wheels that I didn’t think anyone would ever want to steal. How wrong I was. Of course it was no coincidence that I was out of that apartment complex fast. At the same time, I had already decide to transfer schools and get out of the city to literally start over because that whole year to year and half experiment of going to the area college in a big city while still trying to do engineering and working often to get by on my own just wasn’t cutting it. Now during this period of transition to the school next to the cow patty fields as I liked to call it, I was forever going back and forward between the apartments, storage, and the dorms. Oh yes, I made that great return to the dorms, but at least the dorms were in the form of 2 and 4 bedroom apartments, which made living on campus so much easier. For the most part, the 1st year at said new school in dorm was cool, even with the whole 4 roommates situation, except for one of the roommates who had a loud, weed smoking, loud music, stealing other people’s food issues. At least I kept the majority of my food and kitchen items in my bedroom (mini-fridge yall). The next 2 years I was on campus, living was cool. The only time I had problems was when I had to move out for the summer. Yeah that part sucked, especially since I was the main one who had to pack and unpack all my stuff, up and down stairs usually, driving back and forward to Houston, and so on forth. Timing was always the issue, especially when I had research opportunities to arise. In between holidays, the first couple of Christmas holidays I was on campus by myself, pretty scary at times, even out in the country, then a few road trips to Dallas and Beaumont and Austin in between. Yadda, yadda, yadda, fast forward to graduate school, similar situations except I just have to move much more frequently and quickly, which sucks, because I am getting older and lazier, and I just don’t’ have the same enthusiasm to pack up all my world belongings to the top of my car and just get on the road, moving to a place I know I am only going to be there for either 3 months, 6 months, 9 months or a year. And let me tell you, its much harder to want to always want to move when money is always tight (when hasn’t money been tight for me?) that’s part of a reason I wrestle a lot lately do I really want to stay in school for another 3 to 5 years to obtain a pHD (and most likely not where I am at for grad school now, ya dig?) or do I just want to start working now, settle somewhere for at least 3 to 5 years before going back to school? But professionals I have met have been telling me once I start making the good money; I doubt that I would want to go back to living like a pauper just to get another degree. Eh, well that’s what this summer is suppose to be about, letting me coming to terms of where I want to be, where I am going and how I am going to get there by next May. But it seems at the rate I am motivated to even want to get out of the bed and come to work at this internship, I may not be making those where to next decisions anytime soon. And I remember a time I used to be so obstinate in what I want to do with my life, it would take a 2 by 4, a lighter, and gaseous fumes to get me to change courses when it had came past time to do so.

Long time No Hear

Yeah I realized my last entry was in April, and I had been doing well up to that point of getting in like 15 entries or so a month giving my schedule. But then that weekend of Easter I got this first homework assignment finally back which I suspected I did not do so well in and it may made me a bit reticent of starting the second part of the related homework. I was fully correct when I did receive it, but the fact that I had to start over the 1st homework assignment was pretty devastating to me. But I knuckled down and got to it, even though I had to cancel my Easter plans that I planned on 2 weeks ahead and I had to put everything on hold, including my spring break just to get those 2 assignments done. And of course by me putting everything on hold, I also ended up getting behind the equivalent of years in my other classes. This caused me to basically vacate any form of sleep, food, exercise, relaxation, combing thy hair, and any other everyday normal activities that I probably needed to continue to do for the next month and half or so. And even though I did this I have to say I am grateful because I passed all my classes pretty darn well. I guess all that sacrifice of living and substituting for a ghost really did paid off. But the only thing about that is, then I had to hurry up and turn around and get ready for my internship that I have up in the northeast. And so that brought in for May the non-stop driving escapades. Being cheap, time-strapped and partially lazy, I forgo actually trying to get a plane ticket back to Texas and instead chose to drive it, because I knew it would be cheaper and I figured if I could drive 19 hours straight to come home for Christmas I could certainly do it again. And again I did. So drove home back to Texas, this time it took 20 hours, (I was a bit tired than I thought I was this time around). Before I left, I had (and I thought at the time, packed about 60% of my dorm apartment). Got back to Texas, drove around like crazy for a week and a half seeing old friends, family, associates, and wannabes, and then when it felt like I really didn’t want to leave Texas, I had to turn around, drive back to North Carolina, pack the rest of my stuff to the roof of the car, drove to D.C., then picked up a friend at Baltimore who helped me drive the rest of the way all the way up to Connecticut. Got lost before we eventually found the apartment, and all of this in a 3 day span over Memorial Day Weekend. I never thought I would hate driving but I do now-terribly. And add on to that I have to drive approximately 20 miles or so to and from work everyday, yeah, makes me a grumpy pal. So yeah I am now up in the northeast for a summer internship and just going eh about it so far. I think part of it is I am really really tired and a see-saw full of motivation, apathy, and just downright blahness. Combined all this with the fact that I am blogging now even though I am work, but it seems the only thing I can do without causing my work computer to crash. Yeah my work computer hates me, I thinks it out to personally sabotage me after my private and not so private conversations about how computers are evil and are out to destroy the world. Go figure.