Who I am? (to be continued and just plain randomness)

Liquid golden dynamite, so cooler and lighter than the lightest flyest pillow. I walk around with this constant mask because I learned its better to be stoic than show your actual poker face. Seem to be evolving lately, and I used to think that wasn’t humanly possible. A bit antisocial but can be social when placed in settings of people more antisocial and negative than me (and that’s a lot). Lover of all things, and a certified nerd I like to think but not such that I am not cognizant of other issues and topics. I like to do my own thing at my own pace at my rate. I get antsy when I have to twiddle my fingers longer than 15 minutes during the day. I get agitated easier of people very disorganized and spread too thin. Some people can be great multi-taskers but its not meant for everyone, and when I am stuck with that person, I am totally annoyed from point on forward. By the way, I love to multi-task and I am damn good at it when I am focused to do so. Well that’s all for now, I will add more of the evolution of me as I go.

Long time No Hear

Yeah I realized my last entry was in April, and I had been doing well up to that point of getting in like 15 entries or so a month giving my schedule. But then that weekend of Easter I got this first homework assignment finally back which I suspected I did not do so well in and it may made me a bit reticent of starting the second part of the related homework. I was fully correct when I did receive it, but the fact that I had to start over the 1st homework assignment was pretty devastating to me. But I knuckled down and got to it, even though I had to cancel my Easter plans that I planned on 2 weeks ahead and I had to put everything on hold, including my spring break just to get those 2 assignments done. And of course by me putting everything on hold, I also ended up getting behind the equivalent of years in my other classes. This caused me to basically vacate any form of sleep, food, exercise, relaxation, combing thy hair, and any other everyday normal activities that I probably needed to continue to do for the next month and half or so. And even though I did this I have to say I am grateful because I passed all my classes pretty darn well. I guess all that sacrifice of living and substituting for a ghost really did paid off. But the only thing about that is, then I had to hurry up and turn around and get ready for my internship that I have up in the northeast. And so that brought in for May the non-stop driving escapades. Being cheap, time-strapped and partially lazy, I forgo actually trying to get a plane ticket back to Texas and instead chose to drive it, because I knew it would be cheaper and I figured if I could drive 19 hours straight to come home for Christmas I could certainly do it again. And again I did. So drove home back to Texas, this time it took 20 hours, (I was a bit tired than I thought I was this time around). Before I left, I had (and I thought at the time, packed about 60% of my dorm apartment). Got back to Texas, drove around like crazy for a week and a half seeing old friends, family, associates, and wannabes, and then when it felt like I really didn’t want to leave Texas, I had to turn around, drive back to North Carolina, pack the rest of my stuff to the roof of the car, drove to D.C., then picked up a friend at Baltimore who helped me drive the rest of the way all the way up to Connecticut. Got lost before we eventually found the apartment, and all of this in a 3 day span over Memorial Day Weekend. I never thought I would hate driving but I do now-terribly. And add on to that I have to drive approximately 20 miles or so to and from work everyday, yeah, makes me a grumpy pal. So yeah I am now up in the northeast for a summer internship and just going eh about it so far. I think part of it is I am really really tired and a see-saw full of motivation, apathy, and just downright blahness. Combined all this with the fact that I am blogging now even though I am work, but it seems the only thing I can do without causing my work computer to crash. Yeah my work computer hates me, I thinks it out to personally sabotage me after my private and not so private conversations about how computers are evil and are out to destroy the world. Go figure.

ok ok ok

So, as I sit in my on campus apartment watching the National Championship game, I realized that since its already past 11pm, I won't be going back to studying since I am trying to watch the game. Then I am still debating should I make my way over to Franklin Street for the excessive and hyperactive celebrations that will be going on after the game. Naw prolly not, I really am allergic to large crowds and the ignorance that can erupt at any moment. Its amazing how I did not lose my cool whatsoever while I was at the inauguration in January. I think if it wasn't for the fact that I was with my good friends, soror sisters, and honorary member, I would have been ready to go self-implode. So I said all that to say, I had a thought for my next blog topic, but my eyelids would not permit me to write it. So here goes tonight latest personal a-la-personal tat. I have never had a preference for guys, well any kind of explicit preference. This has been the case with the type of guys I have liked or fooled around with over the years. I don't know if it makes a difference whether there are certain defined qualities one would look for in a mate. I figure with some of my acquaintances, they would go for certain looks, certain lifestyle, or certain monetary attachments. But that never has been me. I think that my eclectic taste in men would have something to do with why I have issues with men as it is. I mean in general I go for black men and sometimes hispanic men(well just mainly Dominican, Puerto Rican from time to time, some others from time to time). I really don't have a height requirement, I realized that damn near any guy I meet over 95% of the time is going to be taller than me (I'm only 5'3). I seem to be a sucker for guys that wears glasses, I guess it just flashes intelligence to me (even though I know that's always the case). I also seem to like physics majors, ha go figure. I also have a tendency to be attracted to younger guys at this point or guys no older than 5 years than I am. So its like my cutoff period is 21-29 (maybe an exception for a 20 or a 30 year old). I remember this 34 year old man was trying to holla at me, the age thing bothered me from the get go but his stalker like tendencies even freaked me out even more. I also tend to gravitate to light skinned brothers, seems to be my Achilles heel at times (but don't think all the time), but even that doesn't trip me out too much. I do wonder why I seem to have a particular inkling for younger guys. Is it some kind of time warp I am stuck in, is it I really didn't realize the guy age, I was too busy oogling, or do my eyes really be playing tricks on me and people aren't quite as they seem? I blame that on the foods we eat with that last question about people not seeming to be quite who you thought they would be. But I will save that for another day. Well, the game is almost over, time for me to decide to go out and wonder about or just chill...

Aaarrrrrrgh and ba humbug all roll up in 1

Let me tell you how I really feel now at 12:50am. Just the fact that its 12:50am and daylight saving time has officially kicked off just makes me want to scream and hurl some rhino dung at the nitwits who continue to advocate for daylight saving time this time and age. All DST does for me now is take away a hour that I so desperately needed to pretend was still there even though it never really is while being a graduate student. Now with the return of the “daylight from hell” all I have to look forward to is to lose 2 hours that I didn’t realize was actually still apart of the 24 hour day. Somehow when I played basketball last week and was giving it my entire all, apparently my right knee did not appreciate my hustling up and down the court and since then I have been paying it by walking around like a block of wood stuck in my knee. Then when I finally got around to starting on my homework 2 assignment for my water resource class, I was working on the parts, doing the math and calculations, putting off using excel for graphical purposes, when I realized just 20 minutes ago that all the work I had computed for the last 3 days was entirely and completely and woefully ALL WRONG!!! And ladies and gentlemen, that is how graduate school goes for me, when I think I am taking 3 steps forward, I just took -5 (yes negative 5) steps back and then I am back to ground 0. What makes this worse is that this assignment is due today (Monday) and I just don’t see it happening since I have to start from the beginning and finish the next 8 parts to this problem, only me I tell you can make such draconian mistakes on homework assignments. I used to do this crap when I was an undergrad. Downright ridiculous how much backwards work and erasing I had to do. Last week, after my monthly affliction passed, right on schedule comes my wisdom teeth of horrors. Oh yes, every month, right after my monthly affliction, my wisdom teeth starts to hurt. First it starts off as a nagging soreness, but eventually the pain begins to throb and pulsate with a mind of its own in my gums and surrounding teeth until I am in agonizing pain with tears ready to stream out of my eyes. Usually if I can’t take the pain anymore, I try to soothe it with some ambesol (which makes my mouth feel like I had several injections of Novocain after being in the dentist chair) and if that doesn’t work, its onto popping Advil. Needless to say, this has a tendency to affect my mental state greatly and leaves me void of doing anything productive until the pain subsides. I said all this to say that its downright frustrating and aggravating for me, its like why me? I seem to have just bad luck at times, which is fine with me, I can deal with, but can I please schedule and plan the times that bad luck wants to come knock on my door? At least wait until I finish all major projects, assignments, and to-do list items. Thank you, that is all I ask for. But there is no use in crying, I mean all I can do is wake up, start anew, and just plow right along and pray that things will go right, or at least partly right at about 50% of the time today. Oh well, at least its suppose to be spring break for me this week, doesn’t seem like it all though.