The Clumsy Monster

So for some apparent reason, ever since I have been a little girl, I always, always, always at least once a day, manage to spill something on my shirt, sweatshirt, dress, blouse or something similar. I have even found ways to have food, drink, oil spills land on my pants, shoes and socks (don’t even ask how on the socks). I used to think I was just sloppy because that was my uncle was said I was being. But after a while I grew up, but the mishaps of spills upon my clothing did not go away. So it got me thinking, perhaps, just perhaps I am very clumsy. Me being clumsy-is a very shocking revelation for me, why? I always tried to do everything I cannot be clumsy, but do I succeed, usually only about 75% of the time. Every once in a while, I have my moments where I cannot grip a drinking cup correctly, carry only one thing in my hand, hold books whatsoever, drop my eating forks every single time and so and so forth.
And somehow clumsiness seems to follow me. For instance, this past Friday I was at Krogers looking for harcissa paste for this dish I was preparing and I ended up on the aisle with the spaghetti sauces pre-made and this woman next to me picks up like a couple of big jars of Ragu sauce. Then she proceeds to head down the aisle towards the checkout area of the store. Cool right? I turn back to looking at the items and not even 10 seconds later; I hear this loud crash of glass just shattering all over the place. I look back left, the woman has this utter look of disbelief on her face, I was thinking awww, until I looked down at my shoes and realized there was spaghetti sauce all over my left shoe. Its almost as if my shoe was shot with a bullet. Jeesh. She did apologize profusely and I was like that’s ok, don’t worry about it, but dang, even my shoes couldn’t run for cover.
So I figure the only way for me to avoid such things is to have a talk with myself everyday to control this undesirable condition, to wake up every morning and pray that I don’t waste anything, and finally start wearing fashionable bibs or somehow embroider these bibs into my shirts to create a whole new fashion statement and yet not feel guilty about the state of them by the end of the day. Woo-hoo.