Valentine’s Day-the 09 story (part 3)

So someone asked me not too long ago, did I have someone special in my life. I told them, you know it’s the same ole same ole. At times, my heart feels empty; I do think from time to time that I be incapable of loving a man. I used to believe in the fairy tale stories of living happily ever after and the romance stories on the level of Casablanca (wait, Casablanca is not exactly the world’s greatest happily ever after story either, crap!). But the main reason for all these all over the place synopsis of my dating life was to explain why I don’t think I am going to find the right kind of man. When I take a look at myself, I guess you can say I have a pretty good package-brains, sense of humor, witty, personality, that independent streak, great smile, decent teeth (as straight they could be growing up poor and notorious for crashing into stuff and breaking teeth), the spunk, the determination, the pure drive, the somewhat sexy fashion sense I can exude when put into the right clothes and my scorpion tendencies (yo yo yo it pays to be a Scorpio let me tell you). So I meet or come across or talk to quite a few guys, and my perception has been either all the goods I have met are all taken, or they still in the mindset that the girl they have to get has to be the type one views on various media mediums. Despite all those adjectives I just described of myself, one thing that is unique to me is that I am a size 18. I have been told numerous times that when people looked up at me they didn’t think I was that size. You would be amazed what clothes don’t fit you when your chest size is in the F range and you have a big butt. And ladies and gents, that is what I based my generalization on. I really think that if I looked like some of my homegirls, my phone would not stop blowing up. But its cool because I have always struggled with my weight. I realized a little too late the errors of my ways of lifting weights like crazy in high school and then letting my half laziness slip in and not staying in shape. But in 2009, I have made my valiant return to the gym-not because I want to get a man, but because I want to finally get heart healthy again and get in good physical conditioning. I know that I am never going to be a size 10, but its cool because I rather have a healthy heart, very normal blood pressure and low cholesterol than anything else. I realized that I am definitely not getting any younger and given the health problems in the half of the family tree I actually know about, I do not want to start taking pills to control things prematurely (especially since I detest to the exponential raised to the infinite power swallowing pills). So if it happens that I manage to get my body toned, then so be it in 09, I think that would be way more successful than trying to find love on dating services and the likes.
And p.s. how I am spending valentine’s day you ask? Well hitting the library in the morning, buying small amount of groceries and cleaning supplies, getting the eyebrows done up, catching a free movie at the student union hopefully, contemplate how ridiculous my workload is going to be next week, work out for damn near 3 hours, if motivated, spit a letter or two to form this complex of words to post in my next blog. That’s the life I live now (life’s a real “joy” being a graduate student) and trying to “fix” my DVD player. After 5 years, it wants to start acting up on your girl. Grrrrrrrr…