Always traveling/being transient

I used to think that there must be some good that would come out of all the bad that happened my freshman year of college. One of those “good” I had contemplated about was this sense that since I was officially on my own with only so much to go by, that I would be ok with the notion that I would have to travel frequently and move around frequently. I figured I couldn’t really go back to my grandma’s house anymore, it was falling apart and it was where my uncle had died, so I didn’t want to deal with that. After I had to move out of my freshman dorm, I moved into this garage apartment like 5 minutes from campus. It was great at first with the roommate I had even though the place wasn’t really meant for 2 people. I don’t know what happened along the way but that roommate situation just kinda dissolved/down hill and I actually had a lot of pent up passive aggression that I displayed instead of letting my roommate feel my complete wrath. So I had to get up out of that fast. Next I moved all the way to the Westside of town, like 30 minutes from school give or take to this apartment that was relatively in my budget and figured that since it was such a great steal. Well as the saying goes, things were too good to be true which ultimately led to my car being placed on concrete blocks as someone(s) took all 4 tires and my rims from my car. At the time, I had the same old factory rim and factory wheels that I didn’t think anyone would ever want to steal. How wrong I was. Of course it was no coincidence that I was out of that apartment complex fast. At the same time, I had already decide to transfer schools and get out of the city to literally start over because that whole year to year and half experiment of going to the area college in a big city while still trying to do engineering and working often to get by on my own just wasn’t cutting it. Now during this period of transition to the school next to the cow patty fields as I liked to call it, I was forever going back and forward between the apartments, storage, and the dorms. Oh yes, I made that great return to the dorms, but at least the dorms were in the form of 2 and 4 bedroom apartments, which made living on campus so much easier. For the most part, the 1st year at said new school in dorm was cool, even with the whole 4 roommates situation, except for one of the roommates who had a loud, weed smoking, loud music, stealing other people’s food issues. At least I kept the majority of my food and kitchen items in my bedroom (mini-fridge yall). The next 2 years I was on campus, living was cool. The only time I had problems was when I had to move out for the summer. Yeah that part sucked, especially since I was the main one who had to pack and unpack all my stuff, up and down stairs usually, driving back and forward to Houston, and so on forth. Timing was always the issue, especially when I had research opportunities to arise. In between holidays, the first couple of Christmas holidays I was on campus by myself, pretty scary at times, even out in the country, then a few road trips to Dallas and Beaumont and Austin in between. Yadda, yadda, yadda, fast forward to graduate school, similar situations except I just have to move much more frequently and quickly, which sucks, because I am getting older and lazier, and I just don’t’ have the same enthusiasm to pack up all my world belongings to the top of my car and just get on the road, moving to a place I know I am only going to be there for either 3 months, 6 months, 9 months or a year. And let me tell you, its much harder to want to always want to move when money is always tight (when hasn’t money been tight for me?) that’s part of a reason I wrestle a lot lately do I really want to stay in school for another 3 to 5 years to obtain a pHD (and most likely not where I am at for grad school now, ya dig?) or do I just want to start working now, settle somewhere for at least 3 to 5 years before going back to school? But professionals I have met have been telling me once I start making the good money; I doubt that I would want to go back to living like a pauper just to get another degree. Eh, well that’s what this summer is suppose to be about, letting me coming to terms of where I want to be, where I am going and how I am going to get there by next May. But it seems at the rate I am motivated to even want to get out of the bed and come to work at this internship, I may not be making those where to next decisions anytime soon. And I remember a time I used to be so obstinate in what I want to do with my life, it would take a 2 by 4, a lighter, and gaseous fumes to get me to change courses when it had came past time to do so.

Wednesday Diatribes of Randomness, 3.0:

Who knew socks could leave such indentations in your skin? Perhaps I need to investigate these socks for post-skin traumatic syndrome because of the markings and patterns embedded in my leg is ridiculous. What kind of socks are these you ask? I don’t know, I happen to find them in my miscellaneous clothing pile that I haven’t exactly went through to see if I still desired after I graduated last May, said f* off to friends and family and hightailed it to North Carolina mightily quickly (with the haste, with the haste). Plus, I ran out of socks today, and because I also was running out of cleans bras (it’s hard when you have limited bras but big boobs), I forced myself to wake up at 7:00am to go wash at the dorm laundry room. I have to admit, it was mighty quiet and there were actually washers and dryers available. Go figure! On another side note, I ran out of water in my 1 liter water I had been chugging on lately and decided to break down and return to drinking the water from the school fountain. Now normally I have no problems with this, but earlier this month, they sent out a notice to the school e-mail basically saying that the local drinking treatment plant in the town was switching the disinfection processes used (with chloramines I believe) to using straight up chlorine for reasons about meeting certain drinking water standards and stuff.. and believe me, since this is the first time for me to use the drinking fountain since the switch, you can taste that wonderful chlorine after-taste (tastes like vodka, not really, disregard the taste like vodka, I might be drinking vodka when I go home to disinfect the chlorine taste in my mouth though). But hey, water is water (until I come down with something but I digress) and cannot complain because for the most part the water is relatively ok to drink. Besides, I am trying to cut down on the real money guzzler habit of buying water bottles. Now that’s a waste of money if there ever was one. At least I try to buy cheap store brand water every time to get by.
There is a fridge in my research lab office that I believe the lab manager turned off or it stopped working or something last semester. Now I haven’t opened it this semester, but the last time I opened it, I think rainbow colored mold and bacteria had began to manifest itself because of certain leftovers and leaked water still present. Of course if I want to do a random experiment before May to test to see what random spontaneous combustible situations could occur between the opened and at this point repugnant refrigerator and common chemicals and gases that are always present in the lab. Now that’s research I could get behind 110%. Hey at least that would be more research I would have conducted in that 1 hour experiment than what I have done since I have been here (and that has been last August, and yet I am due to be out here next May with intentions of defending next semester-go figure).
Today, one of my classmate’s in one of my classes made a continuing effort to talk to me and get a feel about how I really feel about being at this school. And I have to say, she has been the first student (in the actual classes that I take) who has made the effort to try to get to know me since I have been here. Wow, amazing (Note: I have met people and gotten to know people a lot more this semester than what I did last semester. The only thing is they are not in my department let alone in the school that my department is apart of). Man I miss the concept of being at a school that is hardcore engineering. I never thought I would miss it so. I guess the old adage you never know what you got until it’s gone is in some sense reversibly so true. Go figure.
I am on another news (in all its forms) strike this week. After Sunday into Monday, I really wasn’t looking forward to attempt number (I start to lose count here) of proposals by treasurer secretaries/economic “supposed” gurus about trying to dissolve toxic assets. I also was not looking forward to lack of journalism/real news reporting on the so called network news channels that claim to give you accurate or fair or balanced or whatever euphemisms they call it for highly opinionated shitty ass lack of research/depth that they try to pass as journalism nowadays. Damn, perhaps I should have been a journalist after all. I actually like to do research and go into the field. Must be weird as a 24 year old to itch for research as I do (but I wander off this paved rant that I am on).
For some reason, even though T-mobile has made its present felt finally in North Carolina, ( I moved out here when there was no such thing as T-mobile and dropped calls was the norm all summer) but apparently North Carolina is still allergic to T-mobile. ( I say this as I am trying to send a text to my favorite homegirl and even though I have 6 bars (highest number of bars on my phone) I can’t get even get the phone to send back out a text message.) Now I have been patient while T-mobile tries to set up shop here but I figured after at least 8 months that the signaling might be a wee bit better. Apparently not-this month I have to deal with more than usual dropped calls, no bars in the middle of conversation and the subsequent 5 minute hello, hello, hello, chants, and issues sending off text messages. (Note: text messages are my clutch, my go to, my bench player that I need to give me some instant offense since I have limited amount of minutes for the remaining of my cycle due to circumstances that was half-heartedly out of my control so that way I am still able to communicate with people). But I am off my wagon again-dangit. Ok so yeah and of course one may ask me why I am still with T-mobile. Well at the time I signed the renewal contract it was about 2 months before graduation, before I really knew what I would be doing or even where I might be going to grad school at, so now I am in an unfortunate committed relationship and I am stuck in it for another year. (Please let this year go by, fast, but productively fast though).
Well that’s enough for Wednesday diatribes for today. Break time is over me, and I am going back to barbecuing my soul, I mean studying for a midterm I have tomorrow that I really don’t know if I could be ready for. Awww, good times I tell ya, good times!
P.S. I have realized since I have given my creative and artsy side of randomness to all things technical for the last 5 years or so, my ability to write with basic verb-agreement has went out the window. Hopefully by me getting retrained in the art of writing for flow and creativity instead of prospectus reports, I will regain and relearn the subtle and intricate delicacies of the written word-Word.

One less radio commentary for me to depend upon:

Note: sorry if the grammar here and there sounds a bit more choppy than usual but I am going off of raw emotion and a can of wild cherry Pepsi.

I have been paying more attention to blogs more and more right around last summer when I was at my internship North Carolina because where I was working at for the summer; it just was not that popping at all. So for me to waste away the days and weekends, I started surfing the internet more than usual. As I did so, I had to find different ways at work to deal with the bit of the repetitive programming and planning I was engaged with day in and day out on the computer. One of the ways I began to deal with this was starting to listen to NPR more than usual, particularly this one program called News & Notes. News & Notes is a sub program on the big NPR scale that dealt with issues and perspectives from the black perspective. Issues they discussed since I have been listening to the show ranged in all kinds of issues from sports, entertainment, military, politics, musicians (the ones that you wouldn’t hear a lot on mainstream radio), health, etc. I found the show very informative and very soothing, particularly since I started in graduate school. Of course for as long as I remember, I have taken advantage of always listening to NPR because it was public radio and it was something different to listen to other than the usual so called network news. Well I said all that to say that News and Notes broadcasted its last show on Friday. I didn’t listen to News & Notes a lot this week because I was just busy all week. Today, as I work on this assignment I have been pretty much catching up with all the past shows up until its last week. When I first read on the NPR site that they were getting rid of the show due to budget constraints, all I could think of was “No surprise to get rid of certain kind of shows when there is always some kind of budget constraints”. The fact that there is no such program on broadcast radio available that offers different and cultural viewpoints than the status quo is quite disturbing in itself. And for those people who are using the line of the need of such programs because we live in a “post-racial era” needs to get real and take the sunshine glasses off their eyes and realize the kind of world that we live in. Just because of November 4, 2008 occurred did not mean that racism and prejudice was killed off in all of its forms, both subtle and glaringly as a lot of people would like to believe. If you believe that we do live in a "post-racial era", then I have beachfront property to sell you in Oklahoma. I mentioned in a previous post of how sad the state of listening to the news is becoming day in and day out. When you watch these so called network news channels you can’t tell anymore what is real news, people’s opinions, and generalizations based upon the commentary of everyone and their mama who is a blogger and somehow a self-proclaimed expert in all affairs that are news and political worthy. And I just heard the other day of more and more newspapers across American cities shutting down their printing presses because of their abysmal sales. Some are either shutting down their printing presses forever, are being forced to pimp themselves out to larger conglomerates, or forced to enter onto an online media of “printing and publishing” news which in my opinion is a horrible substitute of actual printed newspapers. I don’t when people begin to think that it was a bad idea to pay 50 cents to pick up a newspaper and read (and I mean READ) what was going on in their neighborhood, city, state, national and international fronts. Are citizens becoming such drones that they are turning over their mind to everyone else who sometimes does not have their best interests at heart? Such entities that are only concerned about getting all the dollars they can by spreading their non-stop bombardment of subliminal messages? Why-because as the O’Jays sing it, everything is done for the love of money. So don’t be surprised that as one’s soul is being sold down the river, question the way of life one is accustomed to going down the toilet. Choices one makes for not being informed and unwillingness in going to multiple sources to verify the so called “news” being fed day in and day out. Note: This is why I am checking out as of today watching any kind of news. I will tune in next week to only be recapped on what was mentioned the week I tuned out for. Go figure…

Today's Reflection

Today’s Date: March 20, 2009 (Scorpio)

Today you’re concerned with a stable future. Your thoughts turn toward upgrading your house or car, or moving up a rung on your career ladder. It’s a great day for making plans related to these areas, because you’re practical yet ambitious. You’ll aim high, but not so high that, but not so high that you set unattainable goals. This balanced view of your life and abilities really helps in moving onward and upward.

Rating: 4 stars out of 5
Keywords: down-to-earth, controlled
Mood: privileged
So what got me reflecting, is I saw my daily horoscope on my t-zones phone and it caught my attention because kita bita was telling me that I really need to figure out what I do with my life right now, particularly after being mesmerized by listening and seeing live in the flesh political strategist Donna Brazille last night. It was cool and I really felt that my calling right now was not being in graduate school doing what I am doing. Don’t get me wrong, I love engineering, but I feel everyday that I am being pulled from that and more towards the things I actually enjoy doing-writing, politics, international affairs, and other stuff. (actual quote: but listening and seeing Donna Brazille in the flesh was so cool last night one of the best things I have seen in awhile makes me feel as if I am being pulled away from doing engineering stuff and going into politics and international affairs and stuff. And that I need to find a way/career that combines politics and environmental engineering). And that is what got me redoing my goals list. I write out goals that I want to accomplish, because there was a point that I did not think I was going to get there after my uncle died. I was lost, walking in a sticky and translucent cocoon for practically a year. So needless to say, I have made it a point to make some short, mid, and long-term goals and revise them as necessary. At this point, I feel I have been going to school forever, and there are days in which my brain just feels so drained and vapid. 5 years undergrad, 2 years for a master’s right now. I think after I receive this master’s, I am going to take a break and go find myself again momentarily. I always wanted to teach in some capacity, run a mentor/mentee program and also set up engineering and science camps for kids all ages to get them interested in the STEM fields. That is my long term goal that I want to accomplish. Everything else in between now and my long term goal is up for grabs. I have a friend who asked me to read through and edit her essay she was doing so she could join the peace corp. this has been weighing on my mind lately for me to commit to some stateside or international service for at least several years. I have been looking into working for the government but I am now starting to think about non-profit organizations, especially those related to education. Because if people have not realized, education is where it it has to start for so many young people, middle age and seniors. At the rate things are going, no matter your age, people are going back to school to learn new trades and skills because of the evaporation of many different jobs in the usual and dependable job sectors (i.e. retail, manufacturing, construction). My ultimate goal is to get my PhD, but I think that my time to pursue it is not now. I used to think when I was younger that the only important thing for me to do was to study all the time, in all subjects. Now don't get me wrong, I still care for scholarly subjects, but I just don't like at times being pigeonholed to always focus on one thing and one thing only because I just refuse to hold attention and be warped and tunneled visioned in one thing. (Even though I am stubborn by nature). So I have been looking, slowly but surely mind you, incorporating ways to combine my knowledge of engineering, passion for environmental issues, thirst for political scrapping and commentary, helping others, traveling and seeing the world and being exposed to many cultures in all just one fell swoop. Whooo, I know I just expended alot of energy for all those passions to integrate (and do not believe for once that is just an exhaustive list I have provided). And that is all I can do, because according to my horoscope for today, I aim high, but I am also practical and realistic. So my journey to figure out what randomness I will get into in the near future (particularly after I finish up my master's) I believe will be the biggest challenge and a test to see how I have to live life these past 5 years will get me through for the rest of my life. Stay tuned!

My actual first blog but I put it elsewhere

As with trying anything that is not in my comfort areas and being influenced by the numerous blogs that I have randomly came across either through by accident or by some kind of divine intervention, I, yours truly, Miss Good Morning here has decided to endeavor into the blogging world. Now this will be trying for me at times because I like to consider myself a bit reserved (not shy, there's a difference) and a bit of a listener/observer than a talker (hey you would be surprised the kind of things people will say when you let them shoot from the hip). And besides, I need a way to vent and say what's on mind on a bunch of stuff whether personal or impersonal to me. Plus I felt at times that I forgot how much I love writing as a form of expression thanks to my decision to go to college for engineering. All technical tends to zap what creative artsy stuff you used to enjoy doing, believe me, I have found that out the hard way. So here goes, it does not matter whether you agree with the viewpoints expressed here, if you don't like what is said, then oh well, I mean there are plenty of other blogs to go read. Well go figure...And at this point and time, there is no point in me getting into the first point considering my eyelids are slowly decreasing as I type this...till next time...